US News

HOT ‘GRINDERS’

It’s the death of a dirty dream for a Bronx flesh peddler who tried to combine his love for “$5 foot-longs” and feather boas into a “Subway-style” sandwich shop and strip club.

Anthony “Cousin Vinny” Agnello ran afoul of trademark laws for offering the fast-food chain’s signature sandwich – as well as Subway wrappers, bags and menus – in his X-rated deli wannabe.

Agnello, 48, had sent out fliers promising customers free fountain sodas and $5 foot-long subs alongside “six hours of nonstop, hard-core, live action from some of the most beautiful young ladies who have ever chosen to take their clothes off in public.”

A federal judge ordered him to stop using the trademarked goods in his skin scheme and forced him to pay more than $12,000 for the chain’s legal fees.

“The money in stripping isn’t as profitable as it used to be. This [Subway] was my golden parachute,” said a disappointed Agnello.

He operates “World Famous Cousin Vinny’s Gorgeous Strippers” via the Web and has been arrested for promoting prostitution. But Agnello hoped to go legit and opened a Subway franchise last year.

“I know I’m a little rough around the edges, but I was just trying to run an honest business,” he said.

But his plans quickly went awry.

A fan of the Mafia mystique, he plastered his new place with images of dead mobsters like Al Capone, got caught not wearing the regulation uniform, and had a nasty argument with one of the chain’s sales reps.

He was evicted from the store, which he subleased from Subway, for not paying his rent, according to court papers – a charge he disputes.

Agnello then moved down the road with all of his Subway paraphernalia and hatched his jiggle-joint plan. He sent out his now infamous e-mails and fliers offering two kinds of grinders.

“During the day, it is an extraordinary ‘Subway-style submarine sandwich shop’ offering the highest-quality meats, ” he wrote.

“At 10 p.m. Wednesday through Saturday, this seemingly harmless sub shop becomes the wildly exotic and explicit, all-nude private club ‘Cousin Vinny’s Little Secret.’ ”

Neighbors were outraged, and Doctor’s Associates Inc., the owners of Subway, took him to court.

He has since posted a public apology on the wall of the store, asking the locals for forgiveness for his filthy plan.

perry.chiaramonte@btc365-futebol.com