Drama mama

Now that school is in full swing, the kids have to get back 🍌to that early bedtime, which gives Mama an extra hour to enjoy a glass of wine and some mor🦂e adult programming.

The big-kid programs that Mama is most looking forward to catching up with:

“Sons of Anarchy” (Tuesday, 10 p.m., FX)
Besides clocking in at a seemingly unnecessary 90 minutes, the season premiere for this motorcycle gang provides no fewer than two musical montages, the grossest murder Mama’s ever witnessed on TV, two prolonged ass shots — one of which Mama never, ever needed to see — and that rare occasion where Mama must plug her ears, close her eyes and hum until she is sure that a scene is over. Yes, there is progress in the story, which is good considering this show’s tendency to spin its wheels, but be warned that you will ne🥂ed a strong stomach to endure these bad boys. At least there’s the dreamy Jimmy Smits to make it more palatable.

“Haven” (Friday, 10 p.m., Syfy)
You might not consider this science-fiction series so terrible for kids — 𒆙after all, there’s rarely an actual death despite 🌠all the peril. But the spooky Stephen King vibe (one of his short stories is the basis for the series) could provide more than a couple of nightmares: the Maine townsfolk ran as a fiery meteor storm destroyed everything in last season’s cliffhanger that left Audrey (Emily Rose) and Duke (Eric Balfour) lost in a collapsing barn/time continuum.

“Broadchurch” (Wednesday, 10 p.m., BBC America)
If you have children, this British import may be too much for you to handle,ಞ too. There are only a few episodes left until Hardy (David Tennant) and Ellie (Olivia Colman) catch Danny’s killer — and they do promise to catch that person — but you still have to deal with his grieving family, neighbors turning on each other and the unsettling sense of danger looming in this small town.

“Robocroc” (Saturday, 9 p.m., Syfy)
So, this one is arguably ridiculous enough that even yo𝓰ur toddlers may giggle at the military experiment gone horribly wrong. B🍷ut just as you might not share that first mind-altering experience in college, do you really want your kids to know how much you eagerly anticipate the return of Syfy’s cheesetastic Saturday night movies?