Hondo’s NFL picks Week 2

Hondo came out of the blocks a tad sluggishly, going 5-10-1 last week and registering a lone Best Bet in the “W” column. However, it could ha🅠ve been worse. Mr. Aitch could be lamenting a 3-12-1 effort, but he will leave that to Justin Terranova, the current occupant of the Bettor’s Guide basement.

As a very wise man once told Hondo, things can’t get worse, and they rarely stay𓃲 the same, so they have ✱to get better, and it all starts with …

Giants over Broncos: And then there’s the adage about not being as good as you look when you romp or as wretched as you look when you throw a game away because of six turnovers. That’s what Hondo is hanging his helmet on in Manning Bowl III. But there’s more to it than that. The Giants re-signed Brandon Jacobs this week, which means they again have a 265-pound back who will hang on to the ball, even when he is tip-toeing 🥀for extra yardage.

It didn’t take long for David Wilson to apologize for his offensive tweet: “Giants fans ur irrelevant to me!!!” One 𒅌more fumble and Grease Mitts will be irrelevant to Big Blue.

Eagles over Chargers: San Diego’s Manti Te’o, who hasn’t practiced in more than a month💞, is expected to miss his second straight game because of a sprained foot. The former Notre Dame linebacker has become so frꦇustrated by the nagging injury he is considering going to see an imaginary foot specialist.

Browns over Ravens:♐ Bruno Mars, a solid, though other-worldly, choice, will entert🤡ain during the Super Bowl halftime show at MetLife. Miley Cyrus was under consideration but the NFL didn’t want to risk a twerking malfunction.

Texans over Titans: If Obama’s endless missteps and empty threats in Syria were ever made into a television show, it would have to be titled “Ba🐷racking Bad” … Yo💃u have to admit that Putin rushin’ to the rescue in Syria was sarindipitous for Obama.

Colts over Dolphins: Having turned to Congress, the U.N. and finally Russia to solve the𒁃 Syrian problem, “Red Line” Obama is rumored to be in line for a second Nobel Prize — the inaugural Nobel Prize for Shameless Buck-Passing … When it comes to a leadership style — lead, follow, or get out of the way — Obama clearly is more com🉐fortable with Nos. 2 and 3.

Pedro Martinez says Putin is Obama’s daddy.

Bills over Panthers: The White House would have everyone believe the Syrians agreed to Putin’s p🐻lan because they were deathly afraid of Obama and Kerry’s threats, which is a distinct possibility. Nothing shakes up a ruthless dictator like talk of “a shot across the bow,” or a promise of “no boots on the ground,” or assurances that any attack will be “an unbelievably small, limited kind of effort that will be of limited duration and scope.”

Falcons over Rams: From the emails of Muts, Barking Mut that is: Rex Ryan has come out in favor of Obama’s no-boots-on-t༺he-ground approach to Syria. However, the Jets coach would like to see as many bare feet🐎 on the ground as possible.

Redskins over Packers: Robert Kennedy Jr. writes of his “lust demons” in his 2001 diary, which rates his experiences with 37 women, 16 of whom received a 10 — his designation for intercourse. As K-D🙈og of Md., emailed: Like father, like son and uncles and cousins and brothers and sister.

RFK Jr. writes tha🎉t by 2012 he had “lost hope” in his marriage and was “committing numerous infidelities to keep my sanity.” And if that meant reducing his wife’s, well, so be it.

Cowboys over Chiefs: The Chiefs are the prime pick of the Lock-Loss Monster, aka Dave Bl🐟ezow. So you know what to ❀do.

Vikings over Bears: “Seed,” a Canadian sitcom, reportedly has been picked up by the CW, Hondo originally tꦇhought it was about Antonio Cromartie, but then read it’s based on a sperm donor. So it’s probably about everyone’s favorite singer/songwriter/sperm donor, David Crosby.

Saints over Buccaneers: With Lavonte David committing boneheaded penalties and Josh Fꦗreeman looking as mediocre as or worse than he did last season, it appears coach Schiano will get plenty of opportunities to call his favorite play: The All-Out Victory Formation Attack.

Lions over Cardinals: Hondo would love to pile on Ndamukong Suh for another cheap shot, but the NFL hitting him with a $100,000 fine for a low block that anyone who has ever played fooཧtball has made seems awful pricey. That kind of assessment should be saved for the next time the🐼 Lions’ psycho sack hunter kicks a QB in the groin.

Raiders over Jaguars: After a hard-fought primary race, NYC mayoral candidate Anthony “A-Wad” Weiner lamented he was unable to pull it out on election night. However,ꦗ he looks forward to doing so in the future … Barbara Morgan, Weiner’s foul-mouthed spokesperson, believes the reason her candidate lost is because there are just too many slutbags in the city.

49ers over Seahawks: If the league was going to fine someone $100,000 for a cheap shot last week, it should 🐭have been Clay Matthews for trying to behead Kaepernick after he was several yards out of bounds. Depending on how things go in this one, something similar could happen between longtime lovebirds Jim Harbaugh and Pete Carroll.

Steelers over Bengals: Former Jersey governor and N.J. Turnpike rest stop troll Jim “Knees” McGreevey has been approved aꦛs the executive director of Jersey City’s Employment Program, a $110,000-a-year gig. Mayor Steven Fulop hailed the appointee as being “u﷽niquely qualified,” which seems like so much lip service for a man with Knees’ resume.

BEST BETS: Giants, Bills, Falcons.

LAST NIGHT: Patriots.