Itās hard to believe, but itās been 25 years since the Delicatessen Orgasm Heard āRound the World first made it onto the movie screen. We speak, natch, of āWhen Harry Met Sally .ā.ā.,ā Nora Ephronās ź¦æ1989 instant classic comedy, starringź¦ a youthful Billy Crystal and (trivia note: Albert Brooks and Molly Ringwald were among the original choices for the leads).
It follows a couple who meet after college, become friends and take about a dozen years to realize theyāre in love. Along the way, thereās tą¼ŗhat memorable stop in Katzās Deli, birthplace of the immortal āIāll have whašt sheās havingā line ā uttered by director Rob Reinerās mother, Estelle.
Here are five things āWhen ą¶£Harry Met Sally .ā.ā.ā taught usš about love:
Timing is everything.
When Harry Burns and Sally Albright first meet ā for what feels to them the worldās longest car ride ā they doš„ź¦nāt even like each other. (Actually, Sally says later, āI hated you.ā)
At their next encounter, Harry barely remembers her. The thirdš time they meet, they become friends. And they stay that way for a very long time, though now and then ā but never quite simultaneously ā ź¦one of them wants more. āIāve been doing a lot of thinking,ā Harry finally says, āand the thing is, I love you.ā To which Sally responds, āHow do you expect me to respond to this?ā Never a good sign.
Which brings us to lesson No. 2:
The āsex partā doesnāt have to ruin a perfectly good friendship.
āNš¦©o man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive,ā Harry declares. āHe just wants to have sex with her.ā Once sexual attraction does rear its head, he says, the friendship is āultimately doomed.ā
Sally, the pragmatic one, decides sheāll stick with friendship: į©į©į©į©į©į©ā¤ā¤āā¤ā¤į©ā¤ā¤ā¤ā¤į©ā¤ā¤ā¤ā¤į©š±į©į©į©After all, Harryās the only person she knows in New York.
Wanting the same things ā or at least thinking you do ā just isnāt enough.
Sally learned that from her boyfriend Joe: āWe wanted to live together, but we didnāt want to get married because every time anyone we knew got married, it ruined their relationship,ā she tells Harry. āWeād say we were so lucky we havš„e this wonderful relationship, we can have sex on the kitchen floor and not worry about the kidā±s walking in.ā
Turns out, the kišÆtchen floor wasnāt very comfortable.
Never mind what āLove Storyā told you ā it doesnāt hurt to say youāre sorry. Especially if you mean it.
When Sally finally does break up with Joe, Harry ļæ½ļæ½goaą¦ds her about seeing other people.
āI see people,ā she repliš»es. āSee peopleą± ?ā he echoes. Angry and cornered, she lashes out ā and Harry realizes he isnāt helping her at all. āCan I say something?ā he offers. āIām sorry. Iām sorry.ā
āFor the moment, that heartfelt apology is her only consolationš¬.
You can have everything else you want āon the sideā ā but when it comes to love, stick to the menu.
A friend assures Harry that marriages donāt break up because of infidelity āš āItās just a symptom that something else is wrong.ā Replies Harry, āWell, that āsymptomā is fā-ā-ā- king my wife.ā
The moral: Have all the sauces you want on the side, but when it comes to love, be faithful to your entrĆ©e. With any luck,ā youāll continue to have what Sallyās having.