Halloween’s coming, and if you want to give an atheist friend the heebie-jeebies, take her to this hackneyed religious thriller (think “The Leftovers” as interpreted by the Hallmark Channel). Nicolas Cage is clearly praying he’ll revive his flagging career with this amped-up bit of evangelical Christian propaganda. Like the plot’s Rapture-interrupted flight, it does not go smoothly.
The source material, Tim LaHaye’s best selling series of “Left Behind” novels, was first brought to the small screen in 2000. In it, true believer Kirk Cameron played the role of investigative reporter Buck Williams (here played by Chad Michael Murray), who finds himself on a plane ride gone haywire when the Big Guy Upstairs snaps up his favorite passengers.
The remake carries the dubious cultural heft of “Duck Dynasty” star Willie Robertson, who executive produced, and the dwindling star power of Cage as reluctant hero Rayford Steele. He’s a philandering pilot whose wife Irene (Lea Thompson) is having a new love affair with Jesus, and whose college-age daughter Chloe (Cassi Thomson) catches him as he dodges his own birthday party to fly to London for a tryst with a flight attendant (Nicky Whelan).
Midway through the flight — as all over the world — a number of people vanish into thin air, leaving their clothes in tidy piles on their seats. Pandemonium ensues, as does dialogue like: “Ray, I’m scared. Aren’t you?” “I will be. As soon as I have time.”
Featuring local-cable production values and dialogue that seems written by a crack team of Sunday schoolers, director Vic Armstrong’s “Left Behind” does no favors for the Christian proponents of its belief system — that only those who’ve said yes to Jesus will be poofed up into heaven, while the rest of us slog it out in some kind of “The Road” scenario to follow shortly.
Buck, who meets and falls for Ray’s daughter when they cross paths at the airport, ends up being Ray’s right-hand man on the increasingly wobbly flight, whose remaining population is a who’s who of central casting: the doddering old woman, the money-obsessed businessman, the suspicious but ultimately noble Arabic man.
On the ground, Chloe dodges careening cars, violent looters and women screaming “Where’s my baby??” before being informed by her local minister that they’ve all been . . . well, it’s in the title.
The film momentarily picks up as Ray and Buck attempt to land the plane, whose wing has been sideswiped by a crashing aircraft. It’s not great art (in fact, it’s pretty low-rent CGI), but it’s passably entertaining. What’s not is the film’s ham-handed moralizing about Christian conversion, which is about as subtle as a “Davey and Goliath” cartoon — and without the cool claymation.