This weekend, the biggest names in Hollywood will get together to salute the biggest movies of the pa🔥st year. “What,” you ask, “is it time for the Academy Awards again already?” No, something far more important arrives this Sunday night at 8: the Oscars’ slutty teenage sister, the M🃏TV Movie Awards, where accolades such as “best shirtless performance” and “best WTF moment” will be handed out.
But who will take home the top prizes, as chosen by teens and sad grownups who logged o🧸n to to vote for their faves? Let’s dig in.
Movie of the year
Nominees:
“American Sniper”
“Boyhood”
“The Fault in Our Stars”
“Guardians of the Galaxy”
“Gone Girl”
“The Hunger Games: Mockingjay, Part 1”
“Selma”
“Whiplash”
Who should win: “Selma”: Just take a minute and think about how hilarious/sad it would be if the MTV Movie Awards celebrated “Selma” more than the Oscars did.
Who will win: “Guardians of the Galaxy”: Everyone and their mom saw it, and everyone and their mom loved it. Well, everyone except Kyle Smith.
Best female performance
Nominees:
Scarlett Johansson, “Lucy”
Jennifer Lawrence, “The Hunger Games: Mockingjay, Part 1”
Emma Stone, “Birdman”
Reese Witherspoon, “Wild”
Shailene Woodley, “The Fault in Our Stars”
Who should win: Scarlett Johansson, “Lucy”: Witherspoon and Stone were wonderful and game-changing and blah blah blah, but they’ve had plenty of recognition bestowed upon them already. Give it instead to ScarJo, who made a dumb action movie awesome by being, well, awesome.
Who will win: Shailene Woodley, “The Fault in Our Stars🦋”: Teens love Shailene, who is riding high on the success of this adaptation of a John Green book and “Divergent.”
Best male performance
Nominees:
Bradley Cooper, “American Sniper”
Ansel Elgort, “The Fault in Our Stars”
Chris Pratt, “Guardians of the Galaxy”
Channing Tatum, “Foxcatcher”
Miles Teller, “Whiplash”
Who should win: Channing Tatum, “Foxcatcher”: He spent all of awards season inexplicably and tragically overlooked in favor of his co-star Mark Ruffalo.
Who will win: Chris Pratt, “Guardians of the Galaxy๊”: Newfound abs + selfie = success.
Best scared-as-s**t performance
Nominees:
Zach Gilford, “The Purge: Anarchy”
Jennifer Lopez, “The Boy Next Door”
Dylan O’Brien, “The Maze Runner”
Rosamund Pike, “Gone Girl”
Annabelle Wallis, “Annabelle”
Who should win: Jennifer Lopez, “The Boy Next Door”: No one does terrified MILF better.
Who will win: Rosamund Pike, “Gone Girl”: She’s a cool girl.
Breakthrough performance
Nominees:
Ellar Coltrane, “Boyhood”
Ansel Elgort, “The Fault in Our Stars”
Dylan O’Brien, “The Maze Runner”
David Oyelowo, “Selma”
Rosamund Pike, “Gone Girl”
Who should win: Ansel Elgort, “The Fault in Our Stars”: It’s hard to believe a year ago most of us didn’t know his name.
Who will win: Ansel E𝓡lgort, “The Fault in🅷 Our Stars”: And he’s also pretty.
Best shirtless performance
Nominees:
Zac Efron, “Neighbors”
Ansel Elgort, “The Fault in Our Stars”
Chris Pratt, “Guardians of the Galaxy”
Channing Tatum, “Foxcatcher”
Kate Upton, “The Other Woman”
Who should win: Zac Efron, “Neighbors”: In that scene outside of Abercrombie & Fitch, Efron was doing God’s work.
Who will win: Chris Pratt, “Guar꧒dians of the Galaxy”: But again, nothing be♎ats the power of a surprise selfie.
Best duo
Nominees:
Bradley Cooper & Vin Diesel, “Guardians of the Galaxy”
Zac Efron & Dave Franco, “Neighbors”
James Franco & Seth Rogen, “The Interview”
Channing Tatum & Jonah Hill, “22 Jump Street”
Shaile🌸ne W𓄧oodley & Ansel Elgort, “The Fault in Our Stars”
Who should win: Channing Tatum & Jonah Hill, “22 Jump Street”: The chemistry between the two pals is unparalleled in the category.
Who will win: Shailene Woodley & Ansel Elgort, “The Fault in Our Stars”: But love 🐬conquers all.
Best fight
Nominees:
Chris Evans vs. Sebastian Stan, “Captain America: The Winter Soldier”
Jonah Hill vs. Jillian Bell, “22 Jump Street”
Edward Norton vs. Michael Keaton, “Birdman”
Dylan O’Brien vs. Will Poulter, “The Maze Runner”
Seth Rogen vs. Zac Efron, “Neighbors”
Who should win: Jonah Hill vs. Jillian Bell, “22 Jump Street”: Jillian Bell made the case for more girl-on-pathetic-guy fights in film.
Who will win: Chris Evans vs. Sebastian Stan, “Captain America: 🗹The Winter Soldier”: It’s go⛦od.
Best kiss
Nominees:
Rose Byrne & Halston Sage, “Neighbors”
Ansel Elgort & Shailene Woodley, “The Fault in Our Stars”
James Franco & Seth Rogen, “The Interview”
Andrew Garfield & Emma Stone, “The Amazing Spider-Man 2”
Scarlett Johansson & Chris Evans, “Captain America: The Winter S🌃oldier”
Who should win: Andrew Garfield & Emma Stone, “The Amazing Spider-Man 2”: The real-life couple , so ha-ha, that’d be funny.
Who will win: Scarlett Johansson & Chris Evans, “Captain America: The Winter Soldier”🅷: Their real superpowers? Being h♌ot.
Best WTF moment
Nominees:
Rosario Dawson & Anders Holm, “Top Five”
Jonah Hill, “22 Jump Street”
Seth Rogen & Rose Byrne, “Neighbors”
Jason Sudeikis & Charlie Day, “Horrible Bosses 2”
Miles Teller, “Whiplash”
Who should win: Rosario Dawson & Anders Holm, “Top Five”: Tell us you haven’t since fantasized about trying on somebody.
Who will win: Seth Rogen & Rose Byrne, “Neighbors”: Young minds won’t be a🐻⛎ble to pass up .
Best villain
Nominees:
Jillian Bell, “22 Jump Street”
Peter Dinklage, “X-Men: Days of Future Past”
Rosamund Pike, “Gone Girl”
J.K. Simmons, “Whiplash”
Meryl Streep, “Into the Woods”
Who should win: Jillian Bell, “22 Jump Street”: Her aim was sharp, but her tongue was sharper.
Who will win: Meryl Streep, “Into the Woods”: E𓆉ven teens know 🐲to bow down to the queen.
Best musical moment
Nominees:
Bill Hader & Kristen Wiig, “The Skeleton Twins”
Jennifer Lawrence, “The Hunger Games: Mockingjay, Part 1”
Chris Pratt, “Guardians of the Galaxy”
Seth Rogen & Zac Efron, “Neighbors”
Miles Teller, “Whiplash”
Who should win: Bill Hader & Kristen Wiig, “The Skeleton Twins”: The only lip sync in film history to get on the leve♚l of “RuPaul’s Drag Race.”
Who will win: Jennifer Lawrence, “The Hunger Games: Mockingjay, Part 1”: For teens with lots of prom d⛦rama, the melancholy hits home.
Best comedic performance
Nominees:
Rose Byrne, “Neighbors”
Kevin Hart, “The Wedding Ringer”
Chris Pratt, “Guardians of the Galaxy”
Chris Rock, “Top Five”
Channing Tatum, “22 Jump Street”
Who should win: Chris Rock, “Top Five”: It was a welcome return to form for the funnyman.
Who will win: Chris Pratt, “Guardians of the Galaxy”: You guessꦛed it, the ab effe𓆏ct still prevails.
Best on-screen transformation
Nominees:
Elizabeth Banks, “The Hunger Games: Mockingjay, Part 1”
Steve Carell, “Foxcatcher”
Ellar Coltrane, “Boyhood”
Eddie Redmayne, “The Theory of Everything”
Zoe Saldana, “Guardians of the Galaxy”
Who should win: Elizabeth Banks, “The Hunger Games: Mockingjay, Part 1”: Are those eyebrows haunting anyone else in their sleep?
Who will win: Zoe Saldana, “Guardians of the Galaxy”: Sorry, Kermit, she single-handed𓄧ly made green sexy.