“Desperate Housewives” actress was sentenced to 14 days in prison for her part in the college admissions scandal — paying someone to fix her daughter’s standardized test scores. But on Friday she was .
A source inside the jail reached out to The Post, saying she had Felicity’s secret “prison diary.” In a world exclusive, we offer these riveting, totally true (completely made-up) excerpts:
Day 1: In the gr🎉eatest injustice since , I’ve been sent to prison. The pasta here isn’t gluten-free. But as the great Martin Luther King Jr. once sꦡaid, “Only in the darkness can you see the stars.”
Day 2: I keep repeating what told me: “Don’t let no bitch get up in yo s–t.”
Day 3: . . . turns out that wasn’t green juice.
Day 4: Made my first shജiv. Used ripped pages of Mother Jones, a hot glue gun and my✤ own saliva. May not actually puncture skin, but I need to look tough.
Day 5: Powꦛdered milk mixed with water makes a surprisingly good moisturizing mask. Self-care is so import🔜ant, especially in the clink.
Day 6: . My cellmate Olga sa𝄹id she loved him in “Marꦑmaduke.”
Day 7: Is this what Nelson Mandela went tꦍhrough? Note: Can I get an option on a biopic? Call agent.
Day 8: Since I have the most Emmys of any inmate, I volunteered to teach an acting class. The girls performed scenes from , “Glengarry Glen Ross,” and🍰 I pushed them to really “go there.” Knuckles not only yelled “COFFEE IS FOR CLOSERS!” but also gave Tina second-degree burns.
Day 9: Being in prison is an education you just can’t buy. It’s amazing to see women from all walks of life come together to support each other through tough times, no matter what they did. Nicolette Sheridan should go to prison.
Day 10: After an incident in the yard, they call me Houseknife. Nobody — nobody — f–ks with Houseknife.
Day 11: They’re letting me out early. Thank GOD, I don’t think I could take another day in this hellhole. I now understan🧔d the pain of incarceration. I’ll never watch “Orange is the New Black” the same way again. I will carry this scar — and the Ride or Die tattoo — forever. These girls are my family now. When they get out, I’ll get them into Dartmouth. #RESIST