I told my friend to call the police after a date — here’s why
A few months ago a friend ca💛me over to my place for a wine and we were unpacking her most recent date.
Halfw🅰ay throug🧔h her story I stopped her and said: “You know that’s illegal, right?”
She looked shocked and said she didn’t.
I then suggested that perhaps we should♊ go to the police.
You see, it tuꦯrns out she’d been the victim of something called ‘stealthing’ and it’s very serious.
Despite the fact that women have perhaps been led to believe it’s just something some men do, and not to take it too serious𝓰ly.
But we should be taking it seriously, and now thankfully the law in m𝔍ost Aussie states and territories thinks so too.
Myꦫ friend had consensually hooked up with the ♒guy.
Th🧜ey were having a lovely time until they finished and she asked ♏where the condom was.
He laughed and said: “Oh💛, I took that off ages ago.”
Yep, it turns out that unbeknown to her, he had been barebꦬacking without a condom for most of their intimate time.
Not only did this open her to the risk of c💝atching an STD, but she could have also fallen pregnant as she wasn’t on any other form of birth control (which she had made clear from the ge🍌t-go).
Regardless, sꦛhe had asked him to wear a condom, she had watched him put it on and then he took it off without he🌃r consent or knowing.
She said she went into shock and when she asked him why ܫhe took it off he laughed🍸 and said: “Sorry, it was just too tight.”
What. Utter. Rubbish.
We’ve all seen those TikTok vidꦕeos that compꦦletely dispel this myth.
Eith✱er way, he should have checked with her first.
A cꦏouple of weeks🧸 later I was chatting to another friend who said the same thing had happened to her.
She said while it made her feel uncomfortable, she h🐭ad tried to not give it too much thought because ev𒅌ery time she did it made her want to cry.
Then last week when I asked for people to tell me their Saucy Secrets for a regular confessiꦓonal I host on each Monday night I was sent a message that disturbed me.
It said: “Not a secret but a question … is it normal for guys to ge𓆏t🅘 angry if you ask them to put a condom on?”
It’s not something I would normally repost with a response as that’s not what my Saucy Secretౠs are about.
But I wanted to make sure this woman knew that it was NOT normal 🌠for guys to get angry if you ask them to put a condom on.
I responded with a meme from “Succession” that said: “Not to be rude but please get the f–k out of my house” and said it was the only correct response to someone who does that.
Once I posted it, I was inundated with messages from other women sharing their own experiences with men who m♍ade them feel really uncomfortable when they asked them to wear a condom.
The responses broke my heart, but not as much a𒈔s the incredibly dumb “jokes” I got from men in response to w🅷hy they refused to wear them.
The age-oldℱ “but I’m allergic to condoms” excuse is not only absolute garbage; it’s also ♌deeply upsetting to a woman who has worked up the courage to ask you to put one on.
The first time sl😼eeping with someone is alread🌃y nerve-racking.
Add to that the responsibility of making sure neither one of you catches an STD o﷽r falls pregnant andꦇ we’re exhausted before we’ve even unbuttoned our top.
So gents, what we then don’t wanಌt following this request is a debate over why you should wear one.
What we desperately don’t want is your anger, aggression, or gaslighting when we insist you wear one🐼.
And what we won’t stand for is the deception of finding out you’ve put our health (and sanity)🐷 at risk because you didn’t want to put a tiny bit of rubber on your pecker.
You see, we’re not o𒉰nly꧃ doing this for us, we’re also doing this for you.
Do you want that uncomfortable visit to the doctor when your groin is itch﷽y as hell (or🔯 worse)?
Do you want to be paying child support f𒊎or the next 18 years?
No? Well then put on your𝔍 big boy pants, lube up, put it on, or chᩚᩚᩚᩚᩚᩚᩚᩚᩚ𒀱ᩚᩚᩚoof off.
And to any woma🐟n out there feeling violated after suff🍸ering from stealthing, I say report them, report them, report them.
Heck, I’ll come and hold your hand while you do.
Stealthing is illegal in Tasmania, 🦩NSW, Victoria, South Australia, the NT and ACT.
Queensland has passed a bill that will make it illegal and WA is revi💎ewing their sexual offence laws regardin📖g stealthing.
In the eyes of the law in most states and 🔜territories across Australia, stealthing is now considered rape.
I, for🧜 one, very much welcome it. How the heck are we still telling people t💝o wear condoms in 2023? The mind baffles.
