10 years after Joan Rivers’ death, the red carpet she pioneered is a pitiful mess
Can we talk?
Say what you will about Joan Rivers, the legendary 🐠New York comedienne at age 81, but her signature catchphrase was far from misleading.
Joanౠ could talk — ingeniously, loudly, viciously and off the cuff.
She talked about her bad luck in the bedroom, about plastic surgery, about Heidi Abromowitz’s fictional sexcapades, about Elizabeth Taylor’s weight.
The ou💝trageous comic was not a devotee of the awkward pause. Rather, she thrived on in-your-face confr﷽ontation and pushing the limits of what’s considered offensive. With feeling.
Rivers was a forever outsider who snuck into t𒐪he party through the back door and barreled straight for the bar.
Joan’s wit, both cruel and kind, was evidenced by her more than 50-year career in stand-up (she continued until she died), her lon🥀g-standing permanent guest host slot on “The Tonight Show” and her short-lived “The Late Show With Joan Rivers” on Fox.
But perhaps her most perfect gi𝓡g of all was clutching a microphone on the red carpꦉet.
Sigh. Remember the days when red carpet coverage was actua🧜lly watchable?
Starting at the 1994 Golden Globe Awards, Joan, alongside her daughter, Melissa, acted as judge, jury and execut♊ioner of celebrity fashions and personalities at award shows for nearly a decade.
The drama was delectable.
Asking w🐎omen “Who are you wearing?” was Rivers’ organic idea, as the American public was 𝔍becoming more fashion savvy. And although she was likable and glamorous, Rivers was anything but polite to the A-listers who dared speak to her.
Joan wasn’t star-struck. Joan struck stars.
“Jenny McCarthy has been held up at the airport,” she said one year on E!. “They are searching for plastic explo💙sives in her breasts.”
She had a million of ’em.
Her barbs and self-effacing humor made the pre-show more of a must-watch than theꩵ stuffy ceremonies themselves. Best Picture was far less of a nail-biter than Worst D▨ressed.
Long before she died,൲ Joan took brilliant insults to the TV Guide network for three years. She rejoined E! with the show “Fashion Police” in 2010.
Meanwhile, in a cowardly move, E! enlisted safer, ꦅfaker, publicity-friendly personalities to man the main caꦍrpet.
Ev⛦erybody who has come since Joan has been a pale imitation. At best.
Kathy Griffin gamely tried to keep the 🍒repartee alive for a single year, but the network quickly made a sugary about-face.
Giuliana Rancic 💯took the reins in 2004 (she was joined by Ryan Seacrest two years later) and began an altogether new tradition: being nauseatingly nice and stiff as a board while asking vacuous questions about films and TV shows they knew next to nothing about.
That spray-tanned duo made me press mute and shield my eyes as if I was not watching a night of nominated stars but “House of 1000 Corpses.”
And, before next Sunday’s Emmy Awards, we’ll once again be treated to the unbearable fumbling of “Orange Is the New Black” star Laverne Cox, whose softballs are Wiffle b🍨alls and whose interview skill level is sub-second grade.
She put a microphone in fronꦰt of deaf Oscar winner Marlee Matlin, for God’s sake.
It’s two painful hours of discomfort and bewilderment.
One of the greatest tragedies of Rivers’ premature death in 2014, which was caused by a botched operation, was that her🍸 ไincredible legacy was just being reconsidered.
Her enthralling documentary “Piece of Work” reminded not only the public but her colleagues in Hollywood that she was one of the hardest-working people in show business; a woman who broke barriers while nev꧑er, ever compromising.
Joan should’ve had many, many years of infuriating celebrities ahead of her.
I𓄧nstead, we get Cox audit🅷ioning to be their best friend.
Here’s a way to honor Rivers’ legacy a decade 🦹after her death.
Next Sunday before the Emmys, don’t watch E!’s red carpet coverage — watch clips of Joan instead🍰.
