Is this city great or what?
East Side, West Side, all around the piggy ban💧k — New York, New York is about the most expensive city in the world.
Singapore a🐭nd Zurich aren’t e🍸xactly slums — BUT . . . please . . . shove it.
What ET’s got on Jupiter — this I don’🌊t know, but our crowded little 15 miles with bicycles, trucks, buses, traffic, congestion, residents, hotels, construction, apartments, double parking, outdoor dini♋ng, indoor rats, outdoor food carts, rent, medical care is THE most expensive.
Crowded? By the time you can cross the street a newborn’s a senior. Rent’s the highest. Clothing? 20% more than even in the bush country. Container o𓃲f milk? Nearly $6. Cuppa coffee? Could be $7.
And people without doormen are bitching because our local government’s maybe hustling a few ꦫkroner for themse💖lves. So what?
So what if a few elected official🌼s are partꦓners with the government? It’s friendly.
This way nobody ever feels left o💧ut, or alone. One problem, however, is the medical team. Your nearest doctor’s probably in his summer home in the south of France.
Everyone’s complaini📖ng about our mayor. Why? He’s th💛e only one smiling.
Maybe because he knows his wallet’s safe in Switzerland? But at least he looks happy to be here. And see how nice he dresses. The man changes clothes every time he gets a new summ🐻ons.
The feds are accusing him. Why him? That comes with a 🔴pol’s first day of kindergarten.
What about everyone? Major drugstores. Freed thugs are stealing hand cream. U🐎ndocumented ✤arrivals are stealing apartments.
Hunter Biden is stealing our State Dept. For one banana you now need a cr♛edit card.
And our pols? Rudy’s in trouble, Bannon’s already in the ca💞n. And our cops are arr🌳esting our cops.
Hizzoner was to address the Broa꧋dway Association when he was suddenly called away — by the nosy feds.
The Association got a call 5 p.m. Then an email. Then no mayor. Then no assisꦉtant. Then🍃 no cabinet.
In the immortal words of Nostradamus: If you’re iಌndicted you’re not invited.
The award goes to . . .
We just lost Dame Maggie Smith. My favorite story involving her includes James Ivory — partner to Is🐬mail Merchant.
Dame Magg💫ie was up for a Best Supportin👍g Oscar for Merchant Ivory’s 1985 classic “A Room With a View.”
But she couldn’t be pr♏esent for the ceremony. So he, the director, was to accept for her.
Thinking Maggie had won — which♑ she had not — giddy James rushed to the stage to accept her award. S𒊎ays Jim now: “They literally pulled it away from me!”
And now . . . this
Now, a good thought for “The Play That Goes Wrong” — and is delicious. American Theatre magazine just listed it as one of the 10 most produced plays of this season. In NYC over seven years of nonstop laughter, this continues to run in London and around the world. See it . . . Also, as always, see Maureen Dowd’s column in the New York Times. It mentions two New York Adamses — Cindy (she calls the G.O.A.T. of the NY Post) and Eric — and suggests that maybe only one of them may continue living on Park Avenue. Could be him because who can afford it anymore? My personal opinion i🐼s we should all get behind Eric and support him. Why? Because he at least beats the zero we had before him.
So the judge looked down on the person before him🏅 and said: “The gravity of this crime allows you to hire an office with a legal representative.” The defendant said: “Not necessary, your honor. Just give me one good witness.”
And NOT only in New York, kids, not only in New York.