Bill O’Reilly’s new book takes on the worst of the worst

Beware those ‘Evil’ pols

Coming — so unexpectedly — another Bill O’Reilly book. His 900th. 

Cover is Hitler, Putin, and other nogoodniks. Subtitle: “Assessing the Worst of the Worst.” A soap opera this isn’t.

He talks recession, procession, depression, dissension, contention, panic, stocks cratering, media howling, anger, worry, despair, lose the house, blow the bankroll — every American negatively affected.

Nice. Perfect thing to go to sleep with. Same as an old ra-ta-ta Judy Garland tap dance musical. Such stuff as O’Reilly happily likening our future to “root canal without anesthesia.”

Bill’s unsolicited advice? “Washington stands alone. Other countries don’t want their money messed with. We have few foreign allies. To play nice with world markets the USA will need to compromise.”

But, says this human crystal ball: “Don’t panic. That action’s useless. History is unfolding. Can’t stop it. Per Winston Churchill: ‘Carry on!’ ”

Another but is to “ditch the dishonest news invasions. The market swings. The revisions and dishonest sources.” (From this columnist: He also means ditch everyone but B. O’Reilly.) Also: “Trump knows this. He knows his destiny. He knows it can become shaky. He is not a man who accepts losing.”

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Polar-izing

Recently opened “The Penguin Lessons” took wing from the brain of English Brit wit Steve Coogan. It’s about a puppet penguin — which is whateverthehell that is and something all of us own, right? He says, “Covered in oil, the real one’s carried in its bag. But we had a good relationship together. Had respect. Only pooped on me once.”

Audiences might do more.

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Grid lockdown

After firing prison guards for their illegal strike her excellent Excellency Gov. Hochul now deals with severe staffing problems at state prisons.

Also her congestion pricing’s now congested, so maybe a solution’s to release cons to help. Maybe even throwing LI’s formercongressfink George Santos in charge.

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Derm abrasion

Thanks to last week . It reports an art teacher who saw both Judge Judy and me together at her dermatologist’s office — and thought it sufficiently great to report it.

We wildly appreciate the sighting — and should either of us spy this lady getting a colonoscopy we’ll do the same for her.

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Park it here, folks

USA Today’s voting on best state parks. In the running and New York’s best? . I don’t know what that is and I don’t know where there is and I don’t care so don’t ask me. I’m just a full-scale poor reporter.

The thing’s called the Grand Canyon of the East. Never heard of it. I’m told it’s got fills, rills, hills, dills, rivers, hikes. So, who cares. You can park your car or your carcass.

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There once hung a sign somewhere in Donald’s someplace Taj Mahal hotel in the onetime whothehellcaresanymore Atlantic City. It read: “We’ll give you eight-to-five odds you enjoy your stay.”

Only in Jersey, kids, only in Jersey.