Politics

The three biggest sore losers in astrology, based on their zodiac sign

Whatever the loss;꧟ a bet, a game, a lover, a title, visible teeth, car keys, favor, or a friendly wager, the e🃏go hates to lose.

While no one likes to be bested or beat, some zodiac signs take the hits harder, the knocks heavier and the losses not with the calm repose of a confident sportsman but rather with the racket throwing, insult hurling, storming out in the middle of the match energy of a tyrannical toddler who recently got their Lunchables privileges rev﷽oked and sour milk in their sippy cup.

Tennis legend and espo▨uses, “The important thing is to learn a lesson every time you lose.”

Keep on learning, keep on playing and remember folks, there’s always something left to lose and the best we can do is take it on the chin and not to heart.

In astrology, the moon indicates our instinctual responses and because the ꦡplanet Mars governs things like sports, sex, road rage, aggression and competition, read for your moon and Mars sign as well. Batter up.

ARIES (March 21 – April 19)

Endemic of his Aries nature, Elton John hates to lose and refuses to bite his tongue. Getty Images

Aries is cardinal fire and the first sign in the zodiac. As such, they come out of the gate and the womb wanting more, wanting to be first, wanting it now and wanting al♍ways to win. Competition is a kind of Darwinian survival tactic for these people, contention makes them feel alive and winning is what makes them feel worthy.

Add to this that Aries people LOATHE pity more than the slow lane and losing naturally invites it. Examples of Aries in recalcitrant action include Eddie Murphy storming out of the 2007 Oscars when the award for Best Supporting Actor went to Alan Arkin, Bill Belichik walking off the Super Bowl field in 2008 with o🅷ne second left on the clock and loss imm๊inent, and Elton John using the platform of an acceptance speech . Ay dios mío.

LeBron James has an Aries moon and a dicey record of sportsmanship. Getty Images (3)

In other forms of💦 fire, LeBron James, who has✱ an Aries moon, in the 2009 Eastern Conference finals.

James explained later, “I’m a winner. It’s not being a poor sport or anything like that. If somebody beats you up, you’re not going to congratulate them. That doesn’t make sense to me. I’m a competitor. That’s wh🌱at I do. It doesn’t make sense for me to go over and shake somebody’s hand.ꦫ”

Spoken from the infernal heart of someone who can’t accept second best.

LEO (July 23 – August 22)

Leos like Angela Bassett are allergic to losing; symptoms include scowling and the absence of applause. Los Angeles Times via Getty Imag

Leos are ruled by the sun and truly want everyone to shine, so long as they remain the supreme source of light, praise and importance. B💦eing the best is a blood sport to these people and winning is evidence that they are as special as they de♛sperately need to believe that they are.

There can only be one folks, and you better f—ing believe that one is a lion. Examples of Leos being bad losers include Angela ‘no clap for my competition’ Bassett and wrestler who who had to be physically restrained from attacking the Oly🗹mpic judges that found him wanting, AA then made the egregious move of throwing his bronze medal to the ground during the awards ceremony. Poor form, poor sport.

Mars in Leo native Donald Trump who was willing to incite a riot rather than concede and Serena Williams, a fellow Mars in Leo, who has a long history of refusing handshakes, questioning calls and taking losses with more outrage than acquiescentജ grace.

SCORPIO (October 23 – November 21)

For Scorpios like Yevgeny Plushenko, silver will never suffice. Getty Images

Big on intensity, short on sharing, Scorpios are concerned with sex, death and shadows. Scorpio competitiveness is reminiscent of shark pups that cannibalize their littermates in utero to ensure their own survival. In life, as in Game of Thrones, you win or you die and in the case of Scorpio actress Sally Kirkland, you deliver death stares to Cher ꦉwhen she boxes you out of an Oscar win.

Further examples of scorned Scorpios include David Furnish, husband to aforementioned sore loser Elton John, who took to the petty pages of Facebook to lambast Madonna for beating out EJ for a Golden Globe. The stakes, and skates were raised by Scorpio figure skater who lost the 2010 gold medal to Evan Lysacek and said of his defeat, “I was positive I won. I suppose Evan needs𓄧 a medal more than I do. Maybe it’s because I already have one.” Jesus.

Donald Trump, the biggest sorest loser in American political history has Mars in Leo. Getty Images

Yet, the award for the most scorpionic sore loser of all time goes to Ol🌊ympic b๊oxer who, upon defeat at the hands of Aleksandar Hristov sat sullen and alone in the ring for over an hour. Eventually, match officials killed the lights and Jung-il was left in darkness, presumably around and within him.


Astrology 101: Your guide to the star


Astrologer  researches and irreverently reports back on planetary configurations and their effect on each zodiac sign. Her horoscopes integrate history, poetry, pop culture and personal experience. She is also an accomplished writer who has profiled a variety of artists and performers, as well as extensively chronicled her experiences while traveling. Among the many intriguing topics she has tackled are cemetery etiquette, her love for dive bars, Cuban Airbnbs, a “girls guide” to strip clubs and the “weirdest” foods available abroad.