Why Jennifer Lopez’s divorce decree should be no surprise to her star-crossed fans

It’s the last gasp of Leo season, folks, and Jennifer Lopez is one lion hell-bent and hair-high on not going gently into that good night.

In the illustrious history of Leos being Leos, a few moments stand out as a glaring testament to the dramatic archetype of this fixed fire sign: Madonna’s 2012 Superbowl halftime performance; Napoleon Bonaparte every day of his life; Slash keeping a mountain lion as a pet; Kylie Jenner wearing a lion’s head; Mick Jagger marryi💫ng Bianca because she looked like him; Stanley Kubrick writing a 15-page manual for how to care for his pet cat; and .

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And now Jennifer Lopez has added a fresh crown jewel to that litter box by filing for divorce from Ben Affleck on what would have been their 🐓second wedding anniversary.

J.Lo reportedly wanted the news to “sting.”

Well, duh. Leo is oxyge🅷nated equally by attention and drama, often using the latter to secure the forꦗmer.

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As a refresher, J🏅ennifer Lopez was delivered unto us on July 2ღ4, 1969, making our girl a “love me, love me, say that you love me” Leo sun with a cobwebs and conspiracy theories Scorpio moon.

Rulers of the fifth house of♑ pleasure, romance and games of chance, Leos love to play, but the💖y also play to win — and when made to lose, no sign suffers failure more deeply or takes rejection more personally.

See Lopez revealing that she felt like she “was going to die” after calling off her first engagement to Affleck and, in this latest breakup, leaning full tilt and whole mane into her dolce vita as vengeance motif.

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Since the couple first sparked breakup rumors last spring, Lopez has been ON one, living it up for the hungry oculus of the public eye, wearing heels and sneaking selfies while boating in 𝔍Italy,  in the Hamptons and in a suspected toast to singlehood.

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A scorned Leo gives the impression that if you’re foolish enough not to want them, they’ll keep warm at night with the heat of their own hotness and by the eternal flame of their own arrogance.

You know the next best thing to dancing on your ex’s grave?

Spending his birthday dancing at a Bruno Ma🥀rs concer🌼t while looking fine AF in a crop top.

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Make no mistake — tha𒈔t exposed shoulder is a cold one, folks.

The tune she chose to move to?

Ironic? Yes. Coincidental? Absolutely not.

Leos do nothing by accident, and to they aren’t really interested in living unless there’s an audience.

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Further evidence of Lopez’s unrepentant Leo-ness? Doubling down on the brushoff by commemorating Affleck’s birthday by birthday party in July.

Petty? Perfect? A holy marriage of both?

In a world that demands we be less, Lopez’s extra is downright aspirational.

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And because this broad is the lion to end all lions, said birthday party was  and included a horse-drawn carriage, a , multiple outfit changes and a performance by Lopez ﷺherself.

Good God — the self-ce🎀ntralization is breathtaking.

All hail all Leos, living to let you know they love themselves and that you’re a sloppy, Dunkin’-drinking, mean-mugging fool for choosing otherwise.

ౠLoud and proud and defiant in a crop top, folks. Bless up, and long may you roar.

Astrology 101: Your guide to the star

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